A Gentle Way of Meeting All the Parts of You
Most of us think of ourselves as having one mind, one voice, one identity. But more often, we find ourselves locked in quiet arguments—part of us wants to leave the relationship, another can’t bear the thought of being alone; one part wants to take the risk, another whispers, “Don’t you dare.”
IFS is a model of therapy that sees the psyche not as one unified voice, but as an internal family made up of different “parts.” These parts carry specific roles, needs, and burdens—and each one is trying to help us in the best way it knows how.
At Somatic Psychotherapy, we use IFS as a way of bringing deep compassion to the myriad parts that live inside each and every one of us. The anxious one. The avoidant one. The silly one. The critical one. The joyous one. The part that shuts down. IFS doesn’t pathologize these responses—it helps us get to know them. And in that process, something powerful happens: space opens up. Understanding deepens. And healing begins.
What Are Parts? And Who Is the Self?
In IFS, “parts” are sub-personalities—inner figures that carry specific emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. You might notice the part of you that wants to take a risk… and the part that wants to stay safe. The part that longs for connection… and the part that always pushes people away.
These parts tend to fall into three broad categories:
- Exiles – younger, more vulnerable parts that carry pain, shame, or trauma from earlier experiences.
- Protectors – parts that work hard to keep us from feeling that pain again. Some manage and control. Others distract, numb, or shut down.
- Firefighters – parts that react quickly when pain starts to surface. They might spark anxiety, dissociation, overworking, or impulsive behaviors.
But beyond all these parts is something else—something unburdened, wise, and whole. In IFS, we call this the Self.
The Self isn’t just a concept. It’s a felt sense. It’s the calm, clear, grounded presence that can turn toward all parts with compassion. And one of the central goals of IFS is to help clients reconnect with this Self—and to let it lead.
What Might an IFS Session Look Like?
Let’s say you’re feeling stuck in self-criticism. Instead of challenging the content of the inner critic, we might get curious about the part of you that holds that voice. We might ask: When did this part first show up? What is it afraid would happen if it stopped being so harsh? Often, we find that even the most painful parts are trying to protect something tender underneath.
Or perhaps you notice a part that always wants to say yes—to help, to please, to avoid conflict. We might slow down and begin to separate from that part just enough to hear its voice. What is it afraid of? What does it need from you? As we listen, other parts may show up too—perhaps one that feels exhausted, or another that resents never getting to say no.
In IFS, we create a spacious inner field where all parts are welcome. Nothing is forced. Nothing is exiled. The therapist helps guide the process, but ultimately, you lead from your own growing sense of Self.
Why We Use IFS at Somatic Psychotherapy
IFS aligns beautifully with our somatic, mindfulness-based approach. Both models trust the body. Both move at the pace of safety. And both believe that healing doesn’t come from fixing—but from understanding, honoring, and gently transforming the patterns we carry.
In our work, we often bring a Somatic IFS lens—tracking not only what a part believes, but where it lives in the body. Parts aren’t just ideas; they’re felt experiences. A perfectionist part might buzz in the forehead like a swarm of bees. A hopeless part might sit heavy in the gut like a stone. We help clients turn toward those physical expressions with gentle, embodied attention. When we bring the precision of somatic therapy into the spaciousness of IFS, something special happens: the body starts to trust that it can let go.
IFS allows us to meet anxiety not as something to eliminate, but as a protector doing its job. It allows us to greet shutdown as a brilliant, well-worn survival strategy—one that may no longer need to work so hard. It invites us to turn toward ourselves with the kind of care and curiosity we may have never received.
And when that happens—when parts feel seen, unburdened, and no longer alone—something shifts. Not because we forced it. But because we listened.
We don’t exile parts to heal. We welcome them home.
FAQs
What is Internal Family Systems therapy in simple terms?
IFS is a form of therapy that helps you understand and relate to the different “parts” inside you—like the inner critic, the anxious part, or the people-pleaser—so that healing can happen from the inside out. It’s part of our holistic approach in individual somatic psychotherapy.
Can IFS therapy help with anxiety or trauma?
Absolutely. Many of our clients come to IFS after years of talk therapy that didn’t reach the root of their anxiety or trauma. By listening to parts rather than suppressing them, we create room for deep, embodied healing. We often integrate IFS with other trauma-informed modalities like EMDR and somatic experiencing.
Is IFS therapy available virtually in NYC?
Yes. We offer virtual therapy throughout New York, including Internal Family Systems therapy via secure telehealth. Whether you live in Brooklyn, Manhattan, or upstate, our virtual therapy offerings allow you to access support from anywhere in the state.
Ready to Work With Your Inner System?
If you’re tired of insight that doesn’t lead to change, IFS might be your next step. Whether you’re seeking support in Brooklyn (Clinton Hill), Midtown Manhattan, or through virtual therapy in NYC, our therapists are here to walk with you—gently and with deep respect for every part of your experience.
Contact us today to begin.
